I'm nobody

Have been thinking too much about myself. I thought I could do whatever I want, go wherever I want, and everyone should be nice to me just like I'm nice to them. I get upset whenever somebody misunderstands or disagrees with me, or when I can't have my way. I pray to God most of the time only when I'm in need or in difficulties. It's always about me. But who am I to expect love and respect from everyone? What have I contributed to earn all the gifts and freedom I have? I did nothing. And I am nobody but an empty shell without the help, support, tolerance, and love from my friends and parent. I thought I was thankful and contented, I want to share my joy with everyone. But I'm also acting like a baby, constantly needing people to spoil and take care of. Yes I am spoiled. I am too lucky to be surrounded by all these great people, that I naturally took it for granted. I have relied too much on you all. I'm sorry if I've been too selfish or impatient, but seriously you guys mean so much to me and give me energy to live on. I love you all and smile because of you.

what are my values?

care too much about what others think, so afraid of being judged
can't express myself, tired of trying so hard to please everyone and still be misunderstood

i did it just because i saw u,  for a person that I would probably never meet again...

autumn makes me nostalgic.. ppl and things that i care about just seep into my mind, i've to shun it, coz it makes me feel weak and insecure.. when will i get what i really need? will i ever?

do ppl have to make others look stupid to show that they're smart?

Whenever I start being dissatisfied with everything and disliking everyone, I'm most frustrated because I know the problem comes from me.

It's only with you that I can look like crap and still be an angel in your eyes, that I can act like a baby knowing that you will always let me have my way, that I can do the most disgusting thing in the world and you'll still love me no matter what. Yet in the end, I'm all alone...

i'm confused, so confused all the time.
when i thought i've so many frds, with all sorts of relationships
who can imagine im actually feeling helplessly lonely
with all the sweet smiles, who will recognize the frowns and pains
still loving, but how much i wish i can hv a focus
tired to wait, afraid to wait..

想念

這幾年都在到處跑，開心過，傷心過。經歷，也許不知不覺的在改變我…

經常要跟喜歡的人，喜歡的地方道別，也習慣了面對那種無奈的心情。但對於去過的地方，見過的人，還是有一種心動的眷戀。是在想誰？ 還是在想念一些感覺？

那種被疼愛、被照顧、被依賴、被大自然包圍的溫暖幸福… 在我離開以後，自己一個人的時候，每次想起也會甜甜的笑起來。你也有想起我嗎？

Today

離開 這一刻感覺不會忘記
朋友 抱擁告別 明天各自遠飛
難得 並沒傷感 依依不捨顧慮
重拾昨天 樂趣一堆

曾經 每一天相約找美麗去
陶醉 美的故事互相勉勵去追
曾經 望著天空一起哭泣至睡
臨別說起 亦笑相對

別了依然相信 以後有緣再聚
未曾重遇以前 要珍惜愛自己
在最好時刻分離 不要流眼淚
就承諾在某年 某一天某地點 再見

Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine
I'll taste your strawberries
I'll drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrow shall all pass away
Ere we forget all the joy
That is ours today

這首歌在四年前畢業的時候唱過，現在重聽還是很有共鳴...